Should I Tell My Child That They Stammer?

This is a question we hear often in our practice, and the answer is yes. Being open and supportive about your child’s stammer can help them feel understood and confident rather than anxious or ashamed.

Why Parents Worry

Many parents worry that mentioning a stammer will make their child self-conscious, anxious, or embarrassed. It’s natural to want to protect your child from stress, especially if the stammer appears suddenly. However, research in speech and language therapy suggests that ignoring or avoiding the topic can make children feel that stammering is something to hide (Kelman & Nicholas, 2020).

A Modern Approach

Speech and language professionals now encourage parents to acknowledge stammering calmly and matter-of-factly, without making it the “elephant in the room.” When handled with warmth and reassurance, this approach helps children feel their communication is accepted.

Practical Tips for Talking About Stammering

Try to keep your interactions relaxed and natural:

• Maintain eye contact. This shows attention and support.

• Don’t interrupt or finish sentences. Let your child complete their thoughts at their own pace.

• Give plenty of time. Children who stammer need as much time as they require to express themselves.

Avoid corrective phrases like “Take a breath,” “Slow down,” or “Try again,” which may unintentionally increase pressure. Instead, try responses that validate and encourage, such as:

“That got a bit stuck, didn’t it? Well done for carrying on.”

This focuses on communication rather than fluency, praising effort and persistence.

What Other Parents Say

Parents often report that calmly acknowledging a stammer helps their child stay confident and keep talking. Examples (adapted from Kelman & Nicholas, 2020):

• “Some words are hard to get out sometimes. It’s okay, I’m listening.”

• “Your brain is full of ideas, and sometimes your mouth can’t keep up. We call that stammering. I love hearing what you have to say, no matter how long it takes.”

• “That word got a bit stuck — well done for continuing even though it was hard.”

These responses show patience and warmth, helping children feel heard and understood.

What Helps Most

• Be open about stammering. Normalize it so there’s nothing to hide.

• Use neutral, descriptive language rather than “good” or “bad.”

• Focus on what your child says, not how they say it.

• Keep communication positive, relaxed, and unhurried.

• Model calm, confident speech. Children often mirror adult responses.

Key Points to Remember

• Gently acknowledging a stammer does not make it worse.

• Avoid giving too much advice; ask your child what helps them.

• Stammering is just one part of communication—acceptance helps build resilience and self-esteem.

References

• Kelman, E., & Nicholas, A. (2020). Parenting Children Who Stammer: Practical Strategies for Everyday Life. London: Routledge.

• Guitar, B. (2019). Stuttering: An Integrated Approach to Its Nature and Treatment (4th edition). Baltimore: Lippincott Williams & Wilkins.

• Yaruss, J. S., & Reardon, J. (2017). “The impact of stuttering on children and families.” Journal of Fluency Disorders, 55, 1–13.